Like You Mean It
by keltieful
Summary: Being stuck on the Enterprise isn't what Jim was looking forward to this Valentine's Day. Luckily that's about to be turned around.


James Kirk let himself fall back on his bed with a sigh. They were a few days out from Valentine's Day. Less than a week of people doing stupid things in the name of love.

It wasn't that Jim hated the holiday. Or the sort of cheer and courage it fostered in people. Seeing couples come together all around him was oddly satisfying. He wanted the best for his crew. Romantic happiness and all.

Just maybe if there were less flowers. Less pink clashing with red clashing with orange clashing with yellow. And if he found the person who spread the heart confetti, they were dead.

And all of this, frankly over the top, celebrating was grating on Jim's nerves. Even Bones, grouch of the century, was gifting Carol little chocolates and notes each morning. Rand had even told him that Bones had become the number one most wanted man on board. Shame he wasn't single.

Jim huffed a laugh.

Maybe the holiday was about bring out the more tender side of people. Maybe he should be out there, annoying Uhura and chatting with Sulu and pointing Chekov to whatever corner Spock was holed up in.

Fact was, he didn't want to.

He didn't want to spend a few hours looking at happy couples being cute. Or making out.

They had a serious mission in two days. One which required preparation and Captainly things. He wouldn't be caught dead in the love fest upstairs.

Not while he was so pathetically busy pining over his XO.

The door to his quarters swished open, signalling either the arrival of Bones -unlikely- or Spock. The general lack of sound suggested Spock would sneak up on him in five, four, three, two-

"Captain, several of the crew have questioned your whereabouts. Your presence at the party is important to them." Spock said, sounding closer than Jim expected.

He just turned over and mumbled into the pillow. Spock would figure it out. Most of the time they didn't even need words. But that was on the bridge -or annoyingly during chess. They'd never thought to try it elsewhere.

"Captain, Jim, get out of bed."

No sooner were the words out of Spock's mouth than Jim was being pulled up. He furiously tried to keep his eyes closed. If he was being treated like a petulant child than he'd act the part too.

"There is no need for acting, Jim. Your behaviour is already indicative of a six year old." Spock muttered, hoisting Jim closer.

And that hurt. Sure, he liked seeing the sides of Spock no one else saw. It made him feel special. But, sometimes he'd rather Spock would leave.

"You are illogical and overtired." Spock sighed, "How long have the nightmares been back?"

Spock sat on the edge of Jim's bed and Jim tensed. Before he could run away, strong arms pulled him closer.

No. No. No. No. No.

This was not meant to be happening. Spock was not meant to pry.

Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it.

"Jim, if you require my assistance, you need only ask." He said, chin firmly planted on Jim's shoulder.

About two months ago, Spock had walked in after another of his nightmares. In retrospect, waking up screaming every night probably was a sign to get help.

The sleepy Vulcan just sat on his bed and placed his fingers on Jim's meld points. He'd been infused with warmth. Spock stayed until he was asleep before untangling their hands and shuffling back to his own room.

Two days later, Spock cornered him on the observation deck above the bridge. He'd seen the last traces of Jim's memory. He knew.

It had been enough to make Jim turn tail and run.

Which didn't work so well when your rooms were connected. And you were running from the smartest person on board.

Spock would make a great hacker. He'd probably be better than Jim by the time their five year mission was done.

Spock had allowed him a few days of peace -looking around corners, jumping when he heard the Vulcan's voice, acting like a general crazy- before confronting him again. This time went better. Mostly because Jim was too tired and scared to fight. Also because he was wedged in a Jeffries tube.

Spock had weaselled out Jim's sordid life story. From neglectful mother, abusive step father, angry brother, to Tarsus IV, self disgust and destruction. Pretty much everything.

Spock had held him, let him darken the blue of his shirt. He'd patted Jim's back whilst speaking in a form of Vulcan Jim didn't recognise.

Over the next few days, everyone noticed the difference. They worked better together, communicated with only a series of look, or in Jim's case sighs, and didn't argue at all. Win. The crew were congratulating them almost constantly and even Bones gave Jim a solid pat on the shoulder with a promise to try and be nicer to Spock.

The biggest change was how Spock interacted with him behind closed doors. He was like a giant affectionate cat, purring and all. He honestly liked to be in physical contact with Jim. Which was different but nice. Especially when Spock let down his shields a little and curled his mind around Jim's.

But right now Jim just wished he would go away. He didn't need the Vulcan finding out why he was so melancholy. He really wanted to keep this one secret. Just one. Just to keep his best friend, his command team, his head on his shoulders. Was that too much to ask?

"I am beginning to understand what Nyota meant. You are both cute and dense." Spock murmured. He pulled Jim closer, despite his best wriggling.

"S-pock? I don't-" Jim began.

"James Kirk, do you enjoy being obtuse?" Spock asked, "Or do you think so little of me?"

Jim's eyes widened. He would be lying if he found Spock insulting him shocking. But of everyone on board, he looked up to Spock most. Surely, with all the time spent in his head, Spock would know that.

Oh. _Oh._

Spock already knew. He'd always known. God, Jim felt dumb.

"You love me?" Jim asked, feeling insecure. The only thing which would make this day worse would be finding out that Spock was just humouring him. He'd just about die if that was the case. Spock deserved all the happiness in the world. Even if that didn't involve Jim.

"Yes, Jim." Spock muttered with a sigh. An actual sigh. Not a long breath. A Human sounding sigh.

"You know that I love you?" Jim asked, just to make sure. He didn't want to misread anything here. Not like he'd been doing for the last few weeks.

"Yes, Jim." Spock repeated.

"Can I kiss you now?" Jim leant into Spock's touch. Head crooked to the side.

"I'll consider your request, Captain." Spock smiled, just a little and sealed their lips in a hungry kiss.

Jim melted into the touch. His hand curled up and threaded in Spock's hair, pulling him tighter against his body. Spock nipped at his lips and he gasped, letting in the rough, Vulcan tongue.

Spock mapped his mouth, dominating the kiss. He made Jim weak at the knees and he was glad he was already on his back.

"Captain, we still. Need. To. Go. To. The. Party." Spock said, punctuating each word with a hard kiss.

"Are you free after?" Jim asked, breathless and panting lightly.

Spock helped him right his clothes and waited while he used the fresher. Turning up looking like he'd been… busy, wouldn't be the best impression for the crew.

"I look forward to it, Jim." Spock said as they walked up the hallway to the turbo lift.

* * *

 **Ah. Short but sweet. I hope you enjoyed.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek.**


End file.
